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Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg - California Gurls (feat. Snoop Dogg)
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“California Gurls” is the best song of 2010. There may be four months left, but Katy Perry’s infectious summer anthem has already produced more joy than any subsequent song possibly can this year. Yes, joy can be measured (see John Stuart Mill), and as the days get shorter so too does the potential for greatest-happiness. This potential increases again during the holiday season, but at this point any new song must yield to Christmas songs… but I digress.

The song’s melody has that elusive, indefinable feel of a hit track. It’s the rare sound that studio producers long to hear, but know they’ve got a surefire hit on their hands the moment they hear it. The keyboards and drums establish an enchanting rhythm, and by the time the guitar and bass enter full swing at the chorus, head-bobbing is unavoidable. The hook is so catchy that even those of us who are neither Californian, nor gurls feel the urge to sing along. The lyrics invoke summer fun imagery in ways that only the Beach Boys previously could. The tempo lends itself to choreographed dancing, and the order to represent the west coast and put your hands up must be obeyed by all regardless of coastal loyalties.

The lyrics, always the primary concern here, are just as solid— although with music this much fun it’d be nearly impossible to screw up this song. Arnold Schwarzenegger can stop recruiting celebrities for California tourism spots. This song makes Cali more appealing than any star-studded commercial ever could. Everything about hanging out and partying there sounds awesome. The setting and the girls discussed are both tempting, and Snoop Dogg even makes the electropop sing-a-long seem chill.

Perry and Snoop make amusing allusions to each other as Perry sings about “sipping gin and juice” and Snoop mentions that “she drives a jeep.” It’s not the annoying kind of self-promotion we hear in so many rap songs, wherein each participant is announced ad nauseam throughout their songs. Perry’s and Snoop’s playful mentions of each other are merely flirtatious acknowledgments. It’s the kind of lively flirtation that audiences have come to expect on the golden coast.

In the lyric, “…so hot, we’ll melt your Popsicle,” Perry makes the best phallic reference since Lady Gaga’s “I want to take a ride on your disco stick.” Snoop Dogg’s rap is so on point that he makes the juxtaposition of martinis and bikinis seem kindred with zucchinis (another phallic symbol?). He even uses the word “weenies” with aplomb. If a guy can say the word “weenie” with a straight face while dressed as a character from a board game for kids ages 3-6 and still command respect, that’s pretty bad ass.

Perry doesn’t employ the dazzling vocals she utilizes in “I Kissed a Girl” and “Hot ’N Cold”, but in this song she doesn’t need to. Unlike Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, Perry understands that not all of her songs need to be an exhibition of her vocal range. She grasps the concept of pop for pop’s sake, “l’pop pour l’pop”, and for that we should be grateful.

The song was written in response to the Jay-Z and Alicia Keys song, “Empire State of Mind,” and even though my upbringing and allegiance is purely east coast, this information makes me want to put my hands up for the west coast even more. Katy might be under the misconception that “Empire State of Mind” is embraced by all on the east coast—-a belief that residents of any eastern city other than New York will take great exception to. Philadelphians, for example, recognize the song for what it truly is: garbage. The refrain, “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” makes absolutely no sense and inexplicably contains the ear-splitting and unnecessary preposition, “of” at the end of a sentence where none is needed. Moreover, Jay-Z’s claim that he made the yankees hat more famous than a yankee did is utterly ridiculous. Even after making such a libelous assertion, Jay-Z had the audacity try and perform the song at game one of the World Series. Mother Nature and Phillies pitcher Cliff Lee made sure New Yorkers had nothing to sing about that night, but the Jay-Z dirge still reminds Americans of the tragic fall classic in which a collection of steroid-abusing, free-agent prima donnas stole a World Series that rightfully belonged to a band of homegrown, hard-working athletes from Philadelphia.

With the joyous anthem, “California Gurls”, Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg have delivered us from the miserable requiem, “Empire State of Mind.” They have saved east coast audiences from New York’s sins, and reminded us of the fun that summer holds. And greatest of all, they have given us a video in which a sun-kissed Katy Perry lies naked on a cloud and shoots whipped cream from her chest. What more could you ever want in a song?